i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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