Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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