So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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