Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize