Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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