the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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