ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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