I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize