The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
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I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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