yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize