You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize