I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
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it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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