i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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