There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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