my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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