I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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