Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
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It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
wow bdsm is so cute
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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