I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize