at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize