where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize