You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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