I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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