I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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