I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize