i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
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So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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