no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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