so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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