Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize