i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize