i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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