You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize