He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize