Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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