I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You were trust falling into bushes
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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