So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize