im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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