sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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