Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize