Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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