ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize