just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize