I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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