also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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