i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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