6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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