i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize