He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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