i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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