I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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