I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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