It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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