You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize